Monday, April 30, 2007

15 Minute Challenge!

I can think of a million reasons why I can't (won't) exercise and one big fat one why I should! When it comes to excuses I've used 'em all. Too tired...too stressed....too busy....too sore.... How about TOO FAT! As in - get your duff in gear, Lora and stop making excuses!

Today when I got home from school, my daughter said, "Mom - let's go for a walk!" Now this is why I should have said okay. It was almost 70 degrees - after a long winter and a constipated spring (as in it just wouldn't get here) - a nice day like that is most welcome. Also, I was a bit stressed from school (I think I mentioned my 9th period Studio Art maniacs) and I haven't walked in a while and I need to lose this "winter hail" on my thighs ( as a fellow blogger informed me it's called!) But what did I say? Noooooope. Now we all know that walking would've brightened my mood - got rid of the stress! It also would've pepped me up. Not too mention my thighs would've said thank you, thank you, thank you!

But I'm all talk and no walk - that's what I am! I go to bed each night thinking about all the positive moves I'm going to make in the morning. And then something happens that screws it all up. I wake up. I think (I know) I need to carve out a certain time - every day - that is just for movin' and groovin'. Because this other thing - spontaneous exercise - just isn't happening!

So perhaps a realistic, maintainable goal would be in order. 15 minutes to start. If I go longer - hey - good for me! I used to subscribe to this website called Fly Lady that was all about getting your house in order - decluttering and all that happy stuff that's the rave now if you watch HGTV . She had some good stuff on there. But her main gist was this - break your goals into little, manageable chunks. Set the timer for 10 or 15 minutes and start your job. You might find that once you start, you want to keep going! And if you don't - it doesn't matter. You still accomplished your goal and that's ll that counts.

So I'm going to say, that every evening - about 7:00 ish (that's the time I usually look for the remote and plop my behind down on the couch) I'm going to either lift my weights, go for a walk, ride my bike or dance in place in front of the TV. I can do 15 minutes. Heck, anybody can do 15 minutes of something that requires energy.
Is anyone up for the challenge? Accountability is what it's all about, baby!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Yep ~ there's a little bit less of me!

Here is the second installement of my fatty pics. I decided to do a side view this time. After another 5 pound loss I'll do both a front and side. I'm still manuvering around this site trying to figure the best way to post pics in a way they're easy to get to. (That's why I haven't posted a second pic in so long!) I've spent over an hour today trying to format the size - it kept copying too large and darned if I can remember how I did it the first time! Anybody have some suggestions?

Friday, April 27, 2007

Pot luck and Pot Bellies....

Okay I've failed miserably at the no-complaining campaign...and I ate over at the Ronald's place this week (you know Mickey-D's) and I just came from funeral gathering (we call it a "wake" in these parts...where you gather after the service for a meal) but I guess in other spots the "wake" is the viewing. Whatever. I just came home and I'm sad to say I filled myself up real good with all the food there. I'm a sucker for casseroles. Although I will say there were homemade chocolate chips cookies and I didn't eat a single one! (okay - so I didn't get up there before there were just crumbs left....)

Anyway - now I feel bloated again. And it was just starting to subside in a big way! The deceased was my sister's father-in-law so it wasn't real sad for me in the fact that I was close to him - but I did feel the pain of the children and grandchildren left behind. I lost my parents within a month of one another so I'm really aware of the pain when a parent dies. I cried. And I ate. The two often go hand in hand with me. Blessed are those who mourn and can't eat - I know....that sounds really bad! ( But I wish I was one of those who stopped eating when I got sad.) Not me. Pass me the Kleenex and the chips please.

It's not that I'm sad all the time and that's why I'm overweight. I eat when I'm happy too. And when I'm mad...or stressed. I guess it would be safe to say I eat all the time. So my hubby's cousin gave us this picture the took of us at the Pig Roast a few weeks ago. Yikes! They should've put me on the spit! So I'm putting that pic on the fridge - brave soul that I am in hopes it will deter me.

As soon as the rain lets up I'm going to go for a walk too. I may burn off at least a few bites of that chicken casserole I devoured....

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Oh McDonald's!

Why does fast food taste so good? I hear of these people who have lost all this weight and say they actually don't like the taste of it anymore. Are they kidding?! I mean, I think I am addicted to the stuff. Though I've been steering clear of it lately and seeing results because of that - I still ache for the stuff! I can't drive by the Golden Arches that I don't grip my steering wheel with knuckle whites and force myself to keep going.
I'm not a big sweet eater. Okay - I'll polish off homemade chocolate chip cookies in a heartbeat (and cream puffs) but ice cream, cake, stuff like that can sit till it rots at my house. It's the fat and carbs I crave. (and chocolate...another story for another day...)

Sometimes I'll wake up thinking about a Big Mac. Is that weird? Or a Sausage Biscuit with Egg (home fries of course...) And when I do succumb to the temptation, I'll order my stash and park somewhere that's obscure and away from the crowd. The I'll eat it all and love every minute of it. I don't think I'm the only person who does this. Sometimes while looking for a place to park (hide) I'll come upon some other poor slob just like me who's scarfing down their booty too.

I certainly hope there comes a day when I don't really care about fast food. Right now it's a pretty big issue. Hmmm....wonder if there's a 12-step program for FF Junkies.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

More on Complaining...

Well let me tell you - being an optimist for a WHOLE day is a lot harder than I thought! I think I realized yesterday that my standard M.O. when it comes to conversation is to complain! Until I tried really hard not to - I just didn't know how much I actually did.

It's not that life is all that terrible - it really isn't! I think I just pepper the conversational lulls with a general synopsis about how the world isn't going exactly how it should be - according to Lora. Like, I complained that it wasn't as warm as the day before....that a student in my 4th period was really getting on my nerves, that the traffic on the way home form school was annoying (this I voiced out loud to myself) you get the general drift. All of those things are legit when it comes down to it...but complaining about them really doesn't change them - does it? And it doesn't really make me feel any better either (not to mention those around me...)

My late husband (I don't know if I ever mentioned I was left a widow at a young age) used to have this mantra that absolutely drove me crazy. He'd say it all the time - whenever I'd begin to bemoan this or that. I think it was his own rendition of the serenity prayer - condensed. He'd say "Accept or change - but don't complain!" I'd cringe every time he said it. Because I knew he was right. Sometimes I'll still hear is voice echoing in the recesses of my mind when I start to get on a roll.

Now yesterday - I really, truly thought I could go a whole week without complaining. Geesh! I couldn't even make it past 4th period. But I'm going to keep trying. Just like I'm going to keep trying when it comes to this weight loss journey I'm on.

I know...Rome wasn't built in a day. But brick by brick - it did happen. Now I have to go write an e-mail to the parent of the student in my 4th period class. And I'm going to somehow have to tell her that her little darlin' is making my class miserable - without complaining. Won't that be a feat!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Oh What a Beautiful Moring!

Today is a good day! The bloating has subsided and I'm down another pound (almost bringing me up to date with my weight tracker stats - one more pound and I'll actually BE 176 again...)

Anyway - back to the good day thing.... I woke up at 5 (actually 4:30) but I layed in bed and waited for the alarm - I have these wonderful night sweats that sometimes wake me from a sound sleep and leave me lying in a pool of dampness. Such was this morning. But when I finally did roll out if the sack, the window in my dressing room was open and the birds were creating a symphony like you wouldn't believe! I thought of how many people sleep late and never get to witness this spectacular act of love that God has prepared for us to start each new day.

So I hopped on the scale and saw the one pound loss (yippee - baby steps and all that!) After my shower, I put on a pair of gray slacks and a black clingy shirt (I felt daring) and I actually liked what I saw! You know how you can have these "thin" days where maybe you aren't exactly thin (or even close) but you feel thin because you aren't retaining water and the clothes you have on fall just the right way? That's how this morning was! And I even had a good hair day!
So it's 8:23 and my first period class just left (Studio Art) and they are the perfect kids to start your day with. So quiet, so respectful, so...half asleep! Whatever - I love them! We won't discuss 9th period - polar opposites!

So - I'm having a great day! Which brings me to the point of all this. On my way to work the DJ's on my favorite radio station were talking about this philosophy called "love actions" which they swore would help improve your marriage! The basic premise was to go one whole week without saying anything negative to you spouse. Anything! Like don't bemoan the weather, complain in traffic, get on his case about things, yada...yada... And I thought- that would be a good thing to try with everybody! So I'm going to do that this week. Be Miss Polly Positive. I tend to be a complainer sometimes.... I guess I was just feeling so positive this morning that I felt up to the challenge. I'll let you know how it goes!
Anyway - good morning to all!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Winter Legs....

Yesterday was a glorious day! Here in upstate NY we have been less than blessed with some pretty yucky weather. Not to mention all over the place! Last Sunday we went to a Pig Roast and it was snowing! Yesterday the thermometer almost hit 80! Which meant when I meandered outside it was tad too warm for pants. I dug out a pair of shorts and immediately sent them back into hiding! Nothing looks worse than winter-white cellulite!
So I slathered some self-tanner on my legs and donned a pair of Capri jeans. I'll continue with the regime through out the summer. (On my legs anyway.) For some reason I can tan anywhere except my legs! (and that's where I need it most....)
Anyway - I drove over to our "other" house - the one were adding an addition to - to see how hubby was coming with giant pine tree he was taking down. This "other" house sits on 4 acres so I took advantage of the wonderful weather and walked the perimeter of the property. It felt so good to be out after a long winter. But in my Capri's, it started to feel pretty warm and I knew that it wouldn't be long before these marshmallow legs would be on display for all the world to see.

I really want to tone them up. Of course all the toning in the world isn't going to show under a layer of lard so the first item of business it to decrease the girth of these horribly-awful thighs of mine. Does anyone know if bike riding is a good thing or a bad thing when it comes to that? I like to bike - but I don't want to bulk them up. Should I stick to walking?

Any thoughts on this subject would certainly be appreciated!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Morning After....

Wow, am I tired! That's always the sign of a good pajama party! The guests started arriving at 6:30 last night and just kept on coming! My neighbors must have wondered what the heck was going on! Here came all these women with pillows and sleeping bags and loads of food. Oh the food! You name it and we had it! Thing is - we did so much yakking that we didn't put as big of a dent in the food as we could have. The estrogen level in my house last night was definitely at an all time high (and I raised three daughters!)

We played some silly games and told jokes and swapped husband stories until about midnight. Then we watched the video of my daughters' wedding. (yeah...the apostrophe is in the right place.) Both of my girls got married on the same day last summer - as in a double wedding (!) Watching the video of it last night was so much fun - reliving that wonderfully perfect day all over again with all my aunts and cousins and sisters and nieces and daughters by my side was the best. We all cried all over again!
Around 3 am some of the women started wandering off to look for places to bed down. I found my sister-in-law in my bed, so I crawled in next to her and we whispered in the dark for another half hour or so. I'm not sure when the conversation ended....we both just kind of drifted off.
We all woke up pretty early this morning. And again - the food started rolling out. Muffins and bagels, and donuts and fruit. Not much got eaten again. But the coffee pot was refilled several times. So much fun! We've decided to make this a yearly event!
And now I must contend with all these left overs as I try to get back on track again with my weight loss efforts. I sent as much food home as I could with everyone but there's still so much here! (at least there are no cream puffs...)
Anyway - the summer like weather is finally here and as I begin to peel off the layers of clothing that have been hiding my body all winter - I feel motivated to keep on plugging away. Shorts and swimsuit season is just around the corner! There will always be these little detours as I find my way back to my smaller self. I'm just hanging on to the road map and moving forward. You know, not hanging out too long at the rest stops. I'll get there - but I plan on enjoying the trip while I do!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Pajama Party!

Tonight, I'm hosting a Pajama Party! I mean, do we, as women, ever outgrow them? This will be the third I've attended - as an adult!

Many years ago, my sister hosted one when one of my Mom's cousins was visiting from Michigan. We got all the "ladies" together and stayed up all night talking and laughing! It was so much fun! We vowed to do it again soon. We never did.

Then there was the one I organized at our church. It was a small congregation and most of the young moms all knew each other very well. One day I jokingly suggested a Pajama Party at the church and the next thing I knew, we had the Fellowship Hall reserved! We all needed a night away from our little ones (and hubbies -no offense) and we had the time of our lives. I think there were over 20 of us there that night.

And then the years moved on, the kids grew up and no one ever talked about PJ Parties anymore. We hosted them for our kids instead. So about 2 months ago I sent out an e-mail to 19 women (aunts, cousins, sisters, daughters....) and 16 said they'd come! So tonight, I'm sending hubby over to my brothers for the night. And at 7 PM ladies of all ages will begin converging on my house - sleeping bags and pillows in tow - to spend the night here and stay up until the wee hours talking and laughing and eating (yes - it's a law at Pajama Parties that you eat!) and just having the time of our lives. The youngest in attendance will be 21. The oldest - 72. And I can't wait!
I know that according to the WW philosophy (I'm a 3 time alumnus) that I should prepare some healthy alternatives for myself and eat a little something light before my guests arrive so I'm not famished. Maybe I'll do that. But probably not. Because when my sister-in-law brings out her M&M-Hershey Kiss-Pretzels, I'm not passing them up for an apple slice. Sorry. Grown-Up Pajama Parties don't happen very often. I'm eating the pizza and the donuts in the morning too. I'll get back on track after that. I promise!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Freaky Friday....

Today has been a crazy day at school. Fridays are always a bit hectic but today, more so than others. It seems that because today is the anniversary of the Columbine incident, our school has heightened our security - just in case. We have extra guards and the county Sheriff is here. We're limiting hall passes and teachers are taking turns being stationed in the halls and bathrooms during our free time.
Are other schools around the country doing this?? How crazy that our society has been reduced to this level of fear. Schools used to be the safest place for a kid to be. Not anymore. I hate to admit this, but when I enter a classroom for the first time, I automatically scope out where I would "hide" my students if we had an emergency situation such as the one at Columbine or Virginia Tech.
Several years ago we had a disgruntled student that was suspended - seen heading toward school with a weapon. We had an immediate lock-down. Not a big deal - since lock-downs are somewhat common for various reasons - ie. a student needs to be transported by ambulance, etc. We keep the kids in the rooms. But this time the maintenance staff came and locked us in our rooms.Then we heard the big fire doors in each hall slam shut. What really got me going was hearing the helicopters outside my windows as they surveyed the school yard. Yeah...I was a tad nervous.
So today, with the numerous e-mails from our principal and the presence of security all over the mind has been imagining a lot of what-if scenarios. What has made the youth of our country so hopeless.....that they would resort to actions like those seen ecently in the news? Have we, as adults, taken away their hope? Have we robbed them of the innocence of their youth by putting them on the back burner while we pursue our own interests? How may kids today come home to a mom that is there? How many sit down to a family dinner? How many have a dad that comes home each night?
Broken homes are the norm. Working moms are the norm. Latch key childhoods are the norm. Who is raising our children today? Day Care centers? Television? The Internet? Something has to change. The price society is paying is way too high these days.

Okay...every now and then I have to get on my soapbox. It makes me feel a little better.

With that said....I'll be glad when today is over.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Dreaded Bloat!

Oh, how I absolutely detest the time of the month when my body blows up like a Puffer Fish! I can be feeling svelte and confident one day with a tummy that is rather flat (for me anyway) and all of a sudden - whammo! My gut starts expanding like a mound of rising bread dough, my rolls rearrange themselves to settle just under my boobs when I sit and I feel just plain FAT!

Why us women?? Men don't bloat. They don't get cramps. They don't give birth. And they don't particularly care if they have a gut. It's not fair! When I got dressed this morning I zipped up my navy slacks and admired myself from the side in my full-length mirror. "You go girl" I commented to anyone who might be listening at 5:30 am. I felt goooood! And then around 1:00 this afternoon I was sitting at my computer and I noticed a roll that had crept up to just below my breastbone. Now where the heck did YOU come from? I asked the roll. It didn't answer. I reached down and felt another that was resting just above my pubic bone. Crap! Bloat had arrived unannounced (as it always does) and the rest of my day has been all downhill. I pulled my sweater across my ever expanding belly as I walked out if school. I was fairly sure everyone was looking at me and thinking how horribly fat and disgusting I was. All the way home in the car I kept grabbing my belly to see if it was still there. It was. And it is.
Now I a day or two it will subside and I'll feel good again. I know it's just water retention and the price I pay for being a woman. But right now - it truly does suck! And you know how I deal with sucky situations? I make a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and the evening declines from there.
Now I know why they call it yo-yo dieting. I feel like I'm on the end of a friggin' string these days. Up. Down. Up. Down. When am I going to get past this rut?
Right now I'm going go visit some of my favorite blogs. Partly for inspiration but partly to commiserate too. We all have these days. We all get past them. Would this be considered a binge if I made a third grilled cheese sandwich? Just kidding (!) I feel like it - but I won't.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

On Sleep and Weight Loss...

Now that I'm back on track - you know, into the school day routine again - I'm already down 2 pounds. I know the things I mentioned yesterday have much to do with it, but I'm also pretty sure that getting 8 hours of sleep each night plays a big role. Not just because if I'm sleeping I can't eat (!) but studies have shown that there is a definite link between sleep and weightloss .

I certainly notice a difference. And the added bonus is that I actually look better too! The dark circles under my eyes are diminishing, my complexion seems brighter (not as washed out) and I plain just feel better! I had noticed all those things before, but when spring break rolled around and I was back to my usual old, bad habits - staying up late for one - I started feeling and looking haggard again. I didn't realize that getting less zzz's actually makes you crave carbs more! Makes sense.... As soon as I got back to my 8 hours of shut-eye, I started feeling good again!

So, if there's any one habit that I am going to make stick - it's the 8 hours of shut-eye rule. Of course there's lots more that I'm working on, but this one has given me reliable, quick results.

Another perk...when you retire early, you tend to wake early (even when Mr. Alarm Clock isn't poised ready to rouse you out of a good dream!) Lots of wonderful stuff happens in the early hours. This morning as I was making my commute to work I saw the most fantastic sunrise! As I approached the city, the skyline just above the building tops was awash in pinks and oranges. It was breathtaking! And did I mention those birds? Nothing is sweeter to the ear than the sound of the birds celebrating another day!
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise!

Maybe Ben Franklin was on to something!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Sorrow in Virginia....

Okay....I can't obsess about my weight or anything else so trivial today, after the Virginia Tech incident yesterday. One of my good friends has a son who goes there. She was in a meeting when a colleague charged in and asked, "Cathy - where does Christopher go to school again?" And when Cathy answered she knew by the look on her colleague's face that something was very wrong.

Thankfully, Christopher is okay. He did hear the gun shots but by the grace of God was not harmed. Cathy, as well as the rest of us are rethinking our priorities. Life is so uncertain. One day we are waking up wondering what to wear, what to have for breakfast...and the next we or someone we love could be gone. God has had our days numbered since before we were born and while I am not afraid to die (for myself) I am afraid to leave behind those that need me (aka my hubby...) Ah yes - life would go on just fine without Lora - but it's a sobering thought.

For many families right now there is unspeakable sorrow and heartache. There are families that will never, ever be the same again. My heart goes out to them and they will remain in my thoughts and prayers for a long while to come. Today I am not obsessing over what I ate or will eat. I don't care that I lost a pound. What really matters is that I awoke this morning to a new day. A precious gift. I shall call my daughters and remind them how much they are loved. I will hug my precious grandson a little tighter tonight. I will sleep tonight with my body nestled close to my husband instead of on "my own side of the bed".

I know...things will get back to normal soon. Life will go on and the tragedy that has occurred will dim in our minds as it's replaced by the cares of the world. But for some 30+ families - that will not be a luxury.

May God wrap his loving arms around them as they walk this new road.

Monday, April 16, 2007

A New Week....

A new day has dawned and I think I'm back on track. Yesterday was the last day of Spring break (felt more like WINTER break) and here I am at work - with a healthy lunch in tow and no fridge to raid when the whim hits.

The Pig Roast we attended yesterday had LOTS of good eats, but I did behave myself fairly well. (I don't eat as much when I'm in a crowd.) I always feel like people will judge me if my plate's too full. And besides - seeing that pig with his eyes bulging out of his head and his mouth hanging open with a big string of slime hanging out of it didn't really get my juices flowing.

It's interesting, because I always absolutely LOVE shows about Homesteaders and the way things were way back when... I've watched the PBS Frontier House Series 3 times. Twice on the TV and just borrowed it recently from the library. It's a reality based documentary where they take 3 different families and put them in Montana for 5 months to homestead. Everything is detailed to exactly the way it was in 1863 and I find it so fascinating! Part of me longs to live back - though I know I've hopelessly romanticized the whole era and I probably wouldn't make it through the second week. (Especially the outhouse aspect - they didn't have Charmin back then!) So I figured when I saw a real pig roasting it would affect me differently. It was kind of gross. Not at all exciting or frontierish as I'd imagined. But I will say that it didn't stop me from eating it!

Okay....that was a little bit of a long-winded sidetrack. Point is, I went to bed early (9:30) and when I got up at 5 am - I craved something healthy instead of the sweet junk I usually want when I get up later so I had an enlish muffin and a cup of Joe . I packed a healthy lunch that I have no choice but to eat when noon comes. My 40 minute commute home seems to still the ravenous munchies that always hit in the late afternoon. So like I said - I think I'm back on track. (I'm up 3 pounds) and if I don't get 'em back off in the next week I'll *sigh* update my weight tracker.

Anyway, for now I'm sitting here humming "Back in the Saddle again..." and feeling confident!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Vacation Is Over!

Well today is Saturday and I've officially been on "Vacation" from school for 9 days. And I'm embarrassed to say - from my so-called - what I wasn't going to call - diet. My eating habits have absolutely plummeted these past 9 days and I know exactly the trap I've fallen into. I knew it when I posted about about my apprehension regarding this Spring Break. After my first slip (Oh, how I curse those Cream Puffs!) that I would have the mindset I always do - I'll start tomorrow.... But in this case it turned into - I'll start after vacation....

I haven't even gotten on the scale. I don't want to know! I just kept telling myself that once school starts again, I'll be back within the confines of "forced" good eating - as in I'll be bringing my lunches (pre-made while my resolve is still good), I won't have access to snacks (or the time to eat them - my free periods are in the early morning) and I'll be going to bed around 9:30 again (to get the rest I need before the alarm goes off at am) which will curtail that late night noshing I've grown accustomed to again so quickly.

And so, what - I've wasted 10 days (counting tomorrow - we're going to a Pig-Roast to welcome a relative home from the Military) and I know the "I'll start tomorrow" syndrome will rear its ugly head.... But I WILL get back on the wagon (so to speak) on Monday. I can't keep letting this happen! Because it's always something! Don't we always come up with some lame excuse to "Start Tomorrow"?

So I surfed for inspiration yesterday and came across a really neat blog. The Elff Diet . This woman lost 60 pounds by making positive changes - one at a time - until they became ingrained into her lifestyle. She doesn't count calories, she isn't on a diet, she is just eating less and moving more and getting results. So....I know I've blown it this past week, but I'm convinced that it's not our failures that determine who we are and if we'll succeed - but the number of times we get back up and forge ahead. I refuse to fail this time! I've seen too many before and after photos of women just like me - some with way more weight to lose - that did it! And I thank them all. For posting their stories....for sharing the intimate details of their ups and downs....for giving me the strength I need to press on.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Brown Pants!

Yesterday I went shopping for a pair of brown pants. Don't ask me why - I just had a fancy to buy some dress pants that were brown. So I'm searching (you know, brown isn't all that popular of a color these days....) but I finally found a pair in the style I wanted, the material I wanted and the price I wanted. Sad part was - the largest size they had was 16. I wear an 18. (That pear-shaped thing...) So for the heck of it, I tried them on. And they fit! So I tried a couple more 16's (to be sure it wasn't just the manufacturer) and they fit too! I knew my pants were a little looser at home...9 pounds does make a difference, however slight.
Then I come back home to the raging battle of the Cream Puffs. I ate 2 yesterday. I swear I'm going to eat every friggin' one of those things until they're gone! And then will my new pants fit? They only fit now because the puffs haven't caught up with me yet.

It's like this every time I lose weight *sigh* My body fights back in retaliation after about a month. It screams for all the lost food it was deprived of. Even though I haven't been starving myself. Just avoiding fast food like the plague....not taking seconds....passing up some body views this as mutiny and tries to recapture the ship. You know, the one with the cargo containing blubber.

Anyhoo - I've got the new pants hanging in my closet and I am determined not to let them get tight on me. And in case you're wondering why I would buy a pair of pants that I am hoping to grow out of the other way (Ideally I'd like to be a size 12) it was that Murphy's Law thing working again. The one where I buy something because then I'm "guaranteed" that I won't need it soon. I know - I can be so ridiculous sometimes....these games I play with myself. But right now I seem to be winning (well...don't ask the Cream Puffs that) but I AM down a size! And that counts for something!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Tale of Two Sisters....

I saw my sister over the weekend. We only get together every month or so these days. Used to be almost everyday when we were raising our kids and stay-at-home moms! She's skinnier. I'm jealous! But inspired.

We have always had the same track pattern when it comes to weight. We were both thin in high school. We started packing on the pounds together as we had our children. We would commiserate together over coffee and Twinkies. And we would yo-yo diet. But basically we both always fought the same 40-50 pounds.

Then 10 years ago our parents died in the same month and she went through a deep depression. She got super skinny. Some (most) people stop eating when they're depressed. Not me. I eat my way through sadness. So while she was losing - I was gaining. Which totally upset our track record! She eventually came out of the depression and gained the weight back. We were back running the same race again and in a perverse way (I'm embarrassed to say) I was thankful. When she was in her skinny years I always felt painfully aware of my excess weight. I felt like a failure. When she was heavy again - we were on the same playing field. I know that sounds totally childish - but I'm being painfully honest here!

Anyway - she started WW on-line a while back and I didn't pay much attention. (How can you lose weight that way?) But then I saw her this weekend - and I guess you can! She looks great.

So - even though I'm green with envy - I am inspired. And the heat is on now!

Sometimes that's the only impetus we need. Seeing someone else who's done it. That's why I love the blog-world. I can visit sites and see people struggling just like me - and winning the war. I especially like the sites with pics! A picture's worth a thousand words, right? Which reminds me - my March photo is overdue. I'll take another and post it tomorrow.

Watch out sis - here I come!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Somebody Stop Me!

Cream Puffs -11 Lora - 0.

Monday, April 9, 2007

The War of the Puffs....

Oh my gosh! I am being held hostage by a multitude of cream puffs and canoles! As expected, my mother-in-law brought WAY too many of the deadly critters to add to our already plentiful brunch and there are tons of left overs. They beckon me every time I walk past the kitchen. And if I happen to be near the fridge they all but reach out and grab me!
I was fairly good yesterday. We had 20 people here after church and I made asparagus strata and oven-baked french toast with praline topping. My sister brought lemon-poppy seed muffins and mum-in-law came loaded with her artillery. She's a dear, sweet woman but when it comes to sweets - she lavishes it upon us with no remorse.

Seriously! When we go there for holiday dinners she hauls out not one - not two - but usually three and sometimes four items for dessert!! Caramel topped cheesecakes, black forest cherry cakes, bakery scones and cookies, incredible pies! And of course, she is hurt if you don't taste a bit of each!

So on holidays, all bets are off when she's around. So this year I told her we didn't need the pastries. But she insisted. So I told her "not quite so much this year, mom..." And of course, my words fell upon deaf ears. Because mum-in-law equates love with food and she sure does love us!

So I have about 2 dozen of them hanging out now. This is going to be a brutal war. Me against the puffs. So far it's puffs 5 - Lora 0.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Happy Easter!

No mention of weight loss or anything diet related today. It's Easter and I want to rejoice in the fact that we are celebrating the risen Lord! Because of what Easter represents - Christ's victory over death - for all of us if we believe in Him - means I'll see my mom and dad again someday...and my first husband who died too young...and all the other people I loved and miss so much while they lived on this earth! All believers....all at home with the Lord now.
That was my one and only sermon.

Happy Easter!!!

Saturday, April 7, 2007

The Bunny Doesn't Stop Here Anymore...

So I'm walking down the Seasonal Aisle at our local Walmart yesterday and there is candy everywhere! And I'm trying to pick out things to fill Easter Baskets. It's daunting! Nothing like the fodder we got in ours when we were kids. The standard fare back them was your traditional chocolate bunny, jelly beans. malted eggs, peeps (they've been around forever!), and a few assorted solid chocolate items. Most bought at a candy store (back then we didn't have these super stores for one-stop shopping.) Even the grocery stored carried very little in the way of Easter confections.

Fast forward several decades and now in one aisle of your local super-store you can find just about anything that tickles your fancy. Not just jelly beans - but gourmet jelly beans! Not just dark light or white chocolate - but orange, yellow, green, pink... And the peeps! Anything you can imagine, they have created! And then there's all the new fangled stuff - snickers eggs, butterfinger chicks, peanut butter bunnies.... SO I'm perusing the aisle (fighting my way through all the other last minute procrastinators) and I ended up with nothing. That's right. Nada. Zip. I decided that filling up baskets for my grown daughters and their hubbies - this is the first year they're all married and not living home for the traditional basket hunt (yes, I made them find their baskets up until last year!) wasn't necessary. I made an executive decision. No baskets anymore. I mean, here I am fighting my weight and then I'm going to give them a big basket full of junk that will ultimately put them in the same boat I am someday? And they've been telling me anyway for the past few years - pl-eease mom! We don't need candy!

So I'm going to visit a candy shop today. If I can find one! And I'm going to buy then each a single chocolate bunny - made out of the decadent stuff. Like Godiva, or Dove. And that's it. Then I'm going to tell them how much I love them and how wonderful it is that we fill up a whole pew at church happy I am that they are back in proud they make me!

And you know what? I think that will suit them all just fine!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Where Did Spring Go??

Hey! Who came and stole Spring while I was sleeping? Last night I went out to my car to get something and it was very pleasant. (Although the Peepers were mysteriously quiet...) And this morning I'm brushing snow off my car? What gives?! This Sunday is Easter and when we have an April Easter it's supposed to be sunny....and mild....and sometimes even warm enough to skip the coat!

Well, with the sudden shift to winter, my mood has followed suit. Today is the last day of school before Spring Break. I face a whole 10 days that I don't have to get up at 5 AM and make a 40 minute commute to work. Sounds nice....but I'm nervous because I'll be on my own as far as eating goes. You see it's like this - at school I cannot just walk over to the fridge and browse when the whim strikes. I have to eat lunch at a certain time and the food I packed in the wee hours of the morning (when my resolve is still good) is all I'm stuck with. And because I go to bed so early (9:30, because I'm up so early) I don't graze right through David Letterman like I used to. So it's kind of like the training wheels have been taken off my diet.

And of course with the holiday weekend coming up, there will be no lack of tempting food. We go to my sister's tomorrow night with my siblings for a ham dinner and egg coloring contest. Sunday we're hosting Brunch at our house after church for my hubby's side of the family. His mom always brings these cream puffs to die for. And that evening we go to my cousin's for yet another dinner. And then there's all that chocolate that comes with the holiday. Oooh boy. I'm in trouble.

When did Easter become all about food and bunnies and eggs? Perhaps my focus needs some re-alignment.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Cookie Monster

Yesterday I ate 5 chocolate chip cookies while I was driving home from work. I had left them in my car from the night before. I had brought them to a meeting I went to and took the left overs home. (Stupid move...)
Why do I do this!?? Yesterday I had another loss on the scale and what do I do? Get all over-confident and eat 5 friggin' cookies! I know...5 cookies wouldn't set the richter scale off on binge eating - but still....I was on a roll! Another of my "mini binges" I guess.

But seriously - why is it that when we actually lose weight - we think we somehow have earned the right to eat more? I have done this my whole life! I'll see a loss and somehow my brain translates that into..."good job, Lora - now go fix yourself a little something in the kitchen...."
Well - the cookies are gone (I hid the empty container in the trash when I got home) another of my silly rituals....if hubby doesn't see the evidence then I guess I really didn't eat it. Now how does THAT make sense? The evidence is always right there on my hips! That's why I've always found it amusing when overweight people will say "I don't know why I'm not losing weight - I hardly eat a thing!" Right. Me too.
Anyway - the cookies are history and the only difference between this time and all of the others is this - I'm pressing forward. I'm not letting a little slip cost me that black dress!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Signs of Spring....

Yeah! Today I pulled my brown pants out of the closet and I zipped them up without having to lay on my back on my bed and hold my breath! In fact, the zipper went up quite smoothly. Just like the buds on the trees are a sign that spring is really coming (in spite of the fact that it's going down to the 20's this weekend) so this also is a sign that I'm losing weight! When I walked out to my car this morning at 6 AM the birds were chirping....singing "Lora's lost weight....Lora's lost weight!" Well... maybe they weren't celebrating my weight loss, but they were celebrating the dawn of a new day. And so shall I!
Three more pounds and I'll have reached my first 10 pound increment. Four more "increments" to go! I think the first thing you notice when you actually begin losing fat and not just water is the bloating goes away. I'm seeing faint little hollows in my cheeks now. I can't wait for the day the double chin finally makes its exit!
While that little black dress waits patiently for me, I have some jeans that haven't seen the light of day in several years. They will cooperate when I reach the next 10 pound increment. So there is my next goal. (I have so many!) Smaller plates, more fruit, eating in the teacher's lounge, gum after meals..... I can do this!

The peepers were out last night in the pond across the street. They reminded me of my earlier frog analogy. They were cheering me on! Oh how I love spring!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Eating Again.....

Well I'm finally getting over this stomach thingy....Saturday was the first time I actually wanted to eat. Can you believe that? I've never NOT wanted to eat! My scale is still whacked so I'm not sure if I lost anything or not (that would be the pits....being sick and not eating and not losing any weight!) But I'm feeling a tad less bloated around the middle which is good. That lousy spare tire thing that creeps up on us when we're not's starting to deflate...ever so slowly.

I haven't gotten back into the exercise mode though. I did do some walking this weekend at the lake. We spent the night at our cottage getting it primed for our daughter and son-in-law who will be living there the next 5 months. They're newlyweds (since last June anyway) and have just returned from Boston (her hubby plays hockey). They'll be re-locating to Springfield Mass. in the fall so they're going to bunk at the lake in the meantime. Ah... the stories they'll be able to tell their kids someday!
Anyway - now that my appetite has reared its ugly head again, I'm trying to remember what it was like to eat small portions. I think I almost got my eyeballs used to looking at a smaller plate of food. In fact, I plan to borrow an old tactic from Weight Watchers and actually use a samller plate at dinner rom now on. And another trick I'm trying is (one of my girlfriends taught me) is to pop a stick of gum in your mouth as SOON as you've finished that first helping. It keeps you from going back for seconds.
And dessert.