Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Sailing through Week One....

I'm doing very well with my moratorium on fast food. Seeing that I am in the car daily and have to pass several ff joints every time I drive somewhere - I'm quite proud. Especially since it hasn't been much of an issue. When there is only one thing you're focusing on, it's not all that difficult.

I'm hoping as I slowly add new habits each week (or abandon old ones) that it stays this manageable. I honestly don't know why I never tried this strategy before. Maybe because I'm such a "gotta have the results now" kind of person and this seemed too slow. But looking back over my efforts the past 17 months - I certainly haven't been breaking any records for speed in the weight loss arena! So if what I was doing wasn't working (and clearly it wasn't) then what I'm doing now makes sense.

I've talked about healthy lifestyle changes so much that I've sounded like a broken record. It's always been "I need to do this" or "I should do that". But the needs and shoulds have been coupled with so many other needs and shoulds that it's been overwhelming. Because if I mess up on one - I inevitably throw in the towel on all the others. So this one thing at a time - one week at a time thing makes perfect sense. At least for me.

I'm not even worried about the drive to the mountains this weekend. I'm going to pack myself a sandwich and some fruit and when I feel like I need a pit stop - I'll scope out a place with picnic tables or a grassy lawn to throw a blanket on and eat there. It'll be just me and my 3 1/2 year old grandson in the car. The rest of the crew can't get there till much later that evening and I'm anxious to set up camp while it's still daylight (you know...the whole bear thing and all...)

I think if the kids were riding with me it might be harder to resist the ease of a fast food pit stop. So this will work out just fine.

Sunday I start Week Two. Which will focus on water. I've done quite well with the whole water intake thing for the most part, but the past month I've gotten lax. I'm going to make sure that my Brita Water bottle gets filled up and emptied twice everyday. I've been reading some interesting facts on water consumption lately (most I knew but some were surprising) that I'll share next week.

Hope you're all enjoying the "hump" day!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Road Trips, Bears and No Fast Food!

I'm home from the lake *sigh* and itching already to get back there. Summers are just not long enough here.

I managed to tackle my challenge and NOT stop for fast food at any time during the weekend. Which was a feat since I spent 6 hours in the car through out the weekend.

I'm feeling good about this new method I'm incorporating. It seems manageable. I'm going to make Sundays my day for adding each new step to this plan (since I started on a Thursday...and that's a weird day to begin anything.)

So that means the rest of this week my main focus is still steering clear of the Golden Arches or anything remotely similar. And again...I reiterate.....that doesn't mean after this week I can return. It just means that this week - that's the demon I'm tackling.

I pretty much have my 12 steps planned out. Looking at them all together (as a list) looks very similar to most of my past diet plans. Except before - I'd try to tackle everything all at once. Which always set me up for failure. Doing one thing at a time seems much more plausible. On the way to the lake I just kept telling myself this is the only thing you have to worry about, Lora. And it was easier. Go figure.

I have another road trip planned this weekend. Late hubby's family has a reunion every August in the Adirondack Mountains. Family comes from all over the country to attend. Hubby was one of 7 kids so between all his siblings and theirs kids and grand kids....we get quite a crowd. Present hubby never attends. He feels this is our time (the kids & I) to be able to reminisce and catch up with loved ones without worrying about him feeling left out.

Usually we stay at a nearby motel but this year we've decided to rough it and camp at a campground 2 miles away. Me, my girls and their hubbies and grand baby. In a tent! I've always been a camper and we started out in a tent many years ago. But that progressed to a pop-up and then a motor home. The motor home was sold after hubby died so's back to square one. The tent. Which wouldn't be so bad except Inlet, NY is bear country. I mean real bear country! The last time my cousins stayed at this same campground, a bear broke into their car to get to their cooler. There are steel drums with locks at each campsite now for coolers and food items. And warnings posted everywhere about not leaving anything remotely resembling food out anywhere on your site - not wearing the clothes you cooked in to bed - absolutely NO FOOD in your tent.... So I'm a little nervous. Okay. I'm a lot nervous!

More nervous about that than fighting the urge to stop midway though the 4 hour drive their to eat at a ff joint. Besides - the last thing I want to do is crawl into my tent that night smelling like a Big Mac!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Lake Bound....

I'm leaving for the lake in about 10 minutes. My nephew is getting married at a place on one of the Finger Lakes and the cottage is closer to the wedding than it is to home.

I WILL NOT stop for fast food on the way!! Even though food is my drug of choice when things get tense....which they are right now.

My husband is not going to the wedding with me. He backed out at the last minute (which was this morning) and is his normal M.O.

More later.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

One Week at a Time.....

I've been thinking a lot about what Diana, aka Scale Junkie wrote the other day regarding her move from the land of Denial and her proposed 12 week journey into Reality. I looked at the sidebar on my blog and saw the "I lost 5 pounds" badge. It's been there for an awful long time. And I've realized that it's time for me to pull up roots and make that journey too.

No...I'm not abandoning my blog. I've "met" way too many awesome people that I consider "friends" in cyber sort of way. What started out as weight loss blog has morphed into somewhat of a online"Coffee Klatch" where we check up on one another, offer support, motivation, a few laughs and virtual prayers.

What I mean is that I need to change my game plan here and start doing something productive in this war with my scale. Because frankly - the scale is winning. I am the ultimate Queen of Procrastination. Every good intention is slated for tomorrow. And those that actually do come to fruition get lost along the way when my motivation wanes or life as they say - gets in the way.

So I've been thinking. A lot.

And a 12 weeks program sounds like something plausible. But not in the way of a 12 week challenge - or a 12 week diet plan - or a 12 week deadline. More in the way of an extended 12 step program - with a totally new twist. Lest I sound like I'm starting up yet another of my pie in the sky schemes that I'm convinced will be the ticket to my war on weight - I'm not. Because this time I'm not even focusing on the weight. I'm redirecting my energy in a different way. When I focus on the numbers on the scale - and they don' t budge - I lose my mojo and eventually give up. What I'm doing this time is establishing new habits and getting rid of bad ones. One week at a time. The only measure of success will be whether I do it or not. One week at a time. You can't get more tangible than that.

I've developed a list of things in my life that I believe are sabotaging my weight loss efforts. And I'm going to tackle each item - one at a time so that it's more manageable. I'm not going to worry about anything else. Because frankly - I'm the kind of gal that always likes to bite of way more than I can chew. I'm an all or nothing type and I've realized that I'll never do it all - and nothing isn't working. So one thing - one week at a time.

I'm not going to give you my list right now. I'm still fine-tuning it and will probably make revisions as I go. I can tell you this - that my goal for the first week - which starts today is this: NO MORE FAST FOOD! That's been a real downfall for me because there's something about eating in the comfort of my car with a good magazine and no distractions that has a real pull on me. I'm a fast food junkie. No two ways about it. I fell in love with MacDonald's back in the day when you could only eat in your car and the burgers were 15 cents. yeah...I'm that old.

So for the next 7 days - no fast food. That doesn't mean after this week I'll resume my old habit. It just means that THIS week - that's the thing in my life that I'm changing. Maybe eventually when I've tamed the beast I'll allow myself fast food once a month. Or maybe not. Next week I'll tackle another demon. And the following week - another. Then eventually I'll be adding some good habits into the mix.

Will this work? Who knows. I've tried and failed so many times it's not even funny. But I DO know that if I don't get the things under control that are sabotaging my efforts - I'll never win this battle. I'm getting rid of the dead wood so to speak. If anyone wants to join me - feel free. Your demons may be totally different then mine. But face it - those of us that are not doing so well - just running in place it seems - have got to get things under control. One thing at a time. One week at a time.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I won!

So there I was having a particularly crappy day today. Ever since I got the darn IUD out I've been having mood swings and sore boobs. (I know...TMI) but it's as if now that I have that homone producing device out of my body - I'm catching up for the few years of no TOM. Like my body is saying...I owe you....

I cry at the drop of a hat and feel like I'm in perpetual PMS mode. The only good thing is the hot flashes have stopped. Go figure.

So I was sitting here feeling like a pile of mush and decided to check my e-mail. And guess what? I won the Kettle Bell prize on MizFit's site! It's the coolest little thing (she has a video of herself with one and explains how to use it - be sure to check it out.)

Since I've been pretty good about the weight training so far I'm thinking this will be a great way to mix things up a bit and try something new. I'll be sure to keep you posted on how I like it as soon as it arrives.

Thanks Mizfit!! An otherwise crummy day has just been averted. Now I won't have to go bury my face in a bag of oreos. Just kidding! We have nothing sweet in the house whatsoever right now. It's driving my hubby crazy!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Five Things.....

I seems that when summer rolls (this is my second summer blogging) that posts seems to be farther & fewer between among us all. Which is understandable because summer is a busy time. Then again I think of my blogger friends across the world - where it's winter....or where it's perpetually summer...and scratch my head. But still - it happens. Or maybe we just all suffer writing block at the same time.... No matter. We're all still here!

So this is one of those days where I'm checking in...lazily. Patti tagged anyone on her blog with a 5 things list. So I'm playing along!

5 things in your bag:

cell phone
pictures of my kids & grandson
one lipstick
a pen I can never find

5 things in your bedroom:

2 small pillows made by my daughter when she was 12 for my mom when she was ill
a stuffed cow I gave hubby when we first started dating
a ceramic praying hands music box my mom gave me
a ceramic egg that says "Mother 1971" that used to my grandmothers
a tiny ceramic box that contains mine & my late hubbies wedding bands

5 things you have always wanted:

to be thin
a beach house on the ocean
a long happy marriage
to live to see all my grand kids grow up
my hubby to share my faith

5 things you're really into:

anything art
things that are old (that reflect a history)

5 people I’m tagging:

anyone who wants to play!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Roll Out THose Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer....

Last night we had grandbaby over to the new house to see the fireflies. They have been out the past few weeks and last night they were spectacular! After a quick meal we made a campfire and waited for dark. Once the moon was up in the sky where it's supposed to be we climbed onto the golf cart and rode through the trails in the woods. There were so many fireflies that some actually were flying right in front of our faces like sparks zipping through the air! Grandbaby squealed with delight and kept saying "More Papa! Let's go see some more!"
The sounds of the peepers have given way to the call of the locusts (earlier than normal hubby says.) Probably the heat. The mosquitoes have been obnoxious but it's a small price to pay for the glories of summer. It was a good night.

As we ride through the 4 acres we have I can't help but envision the grandchildren someday - having the best time on this property! With the trails through the woods, the water slide hubby built (yep...a water slide - see the pic) the gardens and secret hiding spots - I just know that they will build memories that will last a lifetime! I truly believe that memories are the glue that hold our otherwise mundane lives together. I hear the locusts and I'm back in the field behind my childhood home on a blazing hot summer day chasing butterflies. I smell a woodsy campfire and I'm once again at my favorite campground as a kid.... I walk barefoot on the wet grass and I'm still 10 years old. A few weeks ago I got my brother on law to take his shoes off and walk to the far back edge of the property with me. It was well after midnight and raining slightly. He thought I was nuts...this executive type guy that pushes papers all day at his desk. He's still talking about it! Each step through the tall wet grass lit only by the starlight took him back to his childhood and closer to the earth.

Tonight we're having a few friends over for a campfire. I swear - I've sat before more campfires this summer than I think I have combined in the past 20 years. There must be some primitive longing in each of us that draws us to communing over a fire or walking along a shoreline. At least for me anyway. I've always been an outdoorsy person - a camper, hiker, boater, backpacker... Perhaps that's why I dislike winter so much. It keeps me stuck inside.

And now as I write this...I hear thunder rumbling. Some time ago this would've put a real damper (pardon the pun) on our plans for the evening. No more. We've learned to enjoy the summer no matter what. The campfire is sheltered enough by the tall pines that it doesn't matter if it rains. We have a big pavilion to dash under if it gets really wet. And I've learned to live with wet hair. That's the nice thing about getting older. Somethings just don't matter as much anymore. And others...well they do!

Thursday, July 17, 2008


It's hot here with a capital H! The kind of hot where the air is thick and the sweat runs down your neck even when you're sitting perfectly still in the shade. I've had errands to do all day which had me in and out of my car which has a waning air conditioning system. So no - I didn't run today - or walk. I saw a young lady running down the street earlier - really running - not just jogging as I tend to do. It made me feel guilty. For about a minute.

I'm also having a pity party here and trying to snap myself out of it. The job I interviewed for 2 weeks ago sent me the obligatory "thanks but no thanks" letter yesterday. I've applied for no less than 10 teaching positions this summer and that was the only one that even called me for an interview. I'm angry. Because I'm a good teacher but I'm past my prime. I was warned that districts didn't like to hire older teachers. But I didn't listen. I am now. Except there's nothing I can do about it. You can't prove age discrimination (even though it's blatant). It's too easy to "disprove."

So here I was sitting all mopey and PO'd. Feeling real sorry for Lora and focusing on me, myself and I. Then I visited some blogs and felt the Lord smacking me upside the head. My problems are big to me - but in the scope of life - not all that important. Not compared to what's going on in the lives of some of my blogging buddies.

Honi lost her mom on Tuesday. Alicia is going through a separation from her husband. And here I sit moaning about a job (or lack thereof.) I feel like a schmuck.

So today I'm going to take some time and ask the Lord to bless Honi and Alicia. To wrap his arms around them as each endures her own personal trial.

Please do the same.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A Good Summer Day....

I did my run/walk yesterday. It wasn't as good as usual. I am a bit out of the groove from taking a few weeks off so I only ran in 5 minute spurts interspersed with walking. I did 2 miles but like I said - there was a lot of walking involved.

I spent the better part of the afternoon making blackberry jam. I know...lots of sugar in there - but I only use a wee bit on my toast and nothing beats homemade blackberry jam fresh off the bush. There's something about canning and freezing my own fruits and veggies that takes me to a place deep in my heart where I feel connected. To what, I'm not sure. The earth maybe? or perhaps it's that corny nostalgia that lives in me that yearns for simpler times.

When I was a young stay-at-home mom, nothing pleased me more than dragging out the canning supplies, donning one of my grandma's old aprons and working away until I had rows and rows of colorful jars filled with fresh picked veggies & fruits to see me through winter and remind me of summer.

I had a wonderful herb garden at one time too. Four raised beds divided by a mulched pathway with a little white fence keeping it all together. Now it's just a tangled mess. The fence is gone, the mulch has disappeared into the earth and there are only a few rotted boards proving that that there was any order at all there at one time. The oregano has crept into the grass and the lemon balm is still growing in a patch by the shed, but everything else has died off. I should clean the area up, plant some grass and make it look presentable before we sell the house. And I will....but for now I've just let it go. In all it's dishevelment - it's still a reminder of another time.

We have a big garden at the new house. One that takes up more time than we have now. Maybe when the house is finished and we're not doing a balancing act between two homes, I'll appreciate the garden again. For now...picking blackberries and putting up 7 jars of jam was enough to whet my nostalgic whistle.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

My Weekend....

I didn't run as promised. Not good. (Even though I had a legitimate reason.) Grandbaby woke up with a fever that eventually found it's way up to 103.5 which sent us to the Doctor's office. Poor little guy has some kind of a bug but since his mommy was at work all day - it was Grammy's job to cuddle & snuggle him through the rough spots.

So that was Friday's excuse.

Saturday - I was still working on that mountain of laundry (which now thank goodness is barely a mole hill) and then cut the grass which was way too long from our week away. (I cut here - hubby cuts at the new place. (Good deal....1/2 acre vs. 4 acres.) I then went over to the the new house to pick blueberries. The bushes were overflowing and time is of the essence if we want to beat the birds. All that and then we had to be at a graduation party by 2:00. And the run (which was ever in the back of my mind - did not happen.) Did I mention it was well over 90 degrees yesterday too?

Today it's been raining since I got up and I just can't bring myself to go out & run in the pouring ran. I did it once while it was drizzling...but not in a steady downpour. I'm not that devoted. And Sunday being a day of rest and all that.....

I see a very grim pattern happening. I have to *repeat * HAVE TO get back on track here!

So that's been my weekend. Hope yours has been more fruitful!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm Home!

We just rolled in from an extended stay at the Lake. I have a mountain of laundry to do - and a gazillion things to unpack and put away *sigh* I want to be there - not here!

We had a great time and it was so nice to have all the kids and their spouses all together under one roof for a few days. The weather cooperated and gave us sunshine on cue almost everyday! We lazed around on the dock, floated in the lake on noodles, took lots of walks and boat rides (and yes - even one run) and had a wonderful campfire on the 4th as we watched the spectacular display of fireworks put on by fellow cottagers (ourselves included!)

After the kids all said their goodbyes and headed off in different directions - hubby and I ran down to the dock and hopped in the boat for a peaceful ride around the lake. We were intercepted by our friends across the lake and ended up having dinner there. The stars were incredible all week and were it not for the dock spiders (which I am terrified of) I would've spread my blanket right out there and stared at them all night long!

We had so much fun and it was so very hard to leave. We'd planned on coming home Monday night....but that stretched into Tuesday which turned into Wednesday.... And this morning hubby & I woke up, rolled over and looked at one another and relented that "it was time."

I hate leaving the lake....the slow pace where all that matters is if that there's a good book to be read, something cold to drink in the fridge and the warm sun on your shoulders. Life is simpler there. I always feel like I've stepped back in time a few decades. No TV. No computer. No mail. Not even a newspaper except the one we got when we rode into town on Wednesday to get a few more supplies.

And now I'm home looking at this mountain of laundry and afraid to step on the scale (no scale there either!) And I'm dreading tomorrow because I HAVE to get back on my running program which I've sorely neglected. Yes....I did run around the lake with my daughter - we did 10 minutes then a neighbor on the west side of the lake saw us and tagged along. She's not a runner so we walked a bit after the first 10 minutes - ran another five and then walked about an hour. But that's all I've done in over two weeks! If I don't get back on this now I never will.

So that was my week. While this one is winding down for the rest of you - I feel like a new one is just starting for me. Tomorrow I run. Do or die.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Where Do I Begin?

Well I'm not going to bore you with the whole litany of why I've been missing and how busy my life has been. Let's just say life has been less than tranquil these past few days. No crisis or anything - everyone is well and the marriage is intact! But we hosted a large party (80 people) over the weekend (for my sister & her hubby's 40th birthday) which took a whole lot of elbow grease considering it was outside (at the new place) and we had to prepare all week to make things nice (the gardens and the yard mostly - which has been a construction zone for the past year so it needed some major overhaul!
And did I mention that Sunday was my birthday?....and I spent most of it in bed because I was up till 4 AM the night before (and at my age - 4 AM requires a full day of recuperation!)

I also had 3 job interviews in two days (one of which took a lot of prep on short notice....had to teach a 30 minute lesson to 6th graders and make sure I "wowed" my observers and jumped through all the right hoops.) And then there is this weekend. It's the big one for our family. We celebrate all the summer birthdays in one fell swoop. There are 12 total and it's literally Christmas in July with all those gifts.

We (my brood) always go to our cottage for the fireworks and then converge at my brother's on the next lake over for a big picnic on whatever Saturday happens to fall near the 4th. it's fun - it's crazy and the kids look forward to it all year!

It's also melancholy...bittersweet...for me. Because in my mind's eye the 4th was always celebrated at my folks cottage (two lakes over) when the kids were young. But my parents passed on 11 years ago and the traditions have changed. The proverbial torch has been passed - whether I wanted it to be or not. Not that I don't enjoy my new role! I love it - really! Having all my kids and their hubbies and my grandson all together at the lake is the best. Absolutely the best! But I still miss the old days...and the people that were a part of them (late hubby included.)

Wait. I wasn't going to bore you with my week, was I!? Sorry.

In spite of my non-posts though - I have been keeping tabs on all of you in the snippets of time I've found to log on. Just haven't been able to comment!

And now my dear friends...tomorrow we leave for the lake! The youngest daughter & hubby are bugging out of work early to drive in from Massachusetts. The middle daughter and her hubby have been there since last Friday - soaking up some alone time. The oldest & her boyfriend will meet us there tomorrow also and hubby & I plan to make it there by dinnertime.

There is no computer there. No phone (well...cell phones count I guess.) No TV reception - but hubby came across an old lady tossing out videos 2 days ago and brought home 164 VHS tapes of all sorts of good if it rain - we're set! (where to put the friggin' thing though??)

What I'm trying to day is that I'll be AWOL again until Monday. But I'll be thinkin' of you all and hoping those in the US are having a great 4th of July celebration. (I remember one year I was in Italy over the 4th and the waiter brought out a cake with a sparkler for make us feel at home! It made me remember that I lived on the othe side of the world.)

Oh - and now the confession. I haven't run in a week. (I can hear Nan gasping now!) I could come up with a myriad of excuses....rain....lack of time...heat...and all of those things were true at the start. But then life got overwhelming and the mojo went out the door and now here I am feeling like a putz. But I DO plan on running with my daughter at the lake. Maybe every day. (She's a task master.)

So get out the wet noodle and send some lashes my way. I'm not giving up. I've come too far. But I do deserve a smack upside the head!

Have a happy 4th all! I love you guys!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Missing In Action........

Yes I know...I've been remiss in posting. It's been a ridiculously busy week. I'll check in tomorrow. I promise!