Farewell to Scott.....

Last night I dreamt that I won the lottery. Quite amusing since I've never purchased a lottery ticket in my life! Once, when we were newlyweds, my husband bought one. But we forgot to watch for the numbers to see if we won. I don't know what it's like in your parts - but in New York state - we fund some of our education through the purchase of lottery tickets. Supposedly. And it seem EVERYONE is obsessed with hitting the big jackpot.

Anyway - I had this dream that I won10 million dollars! Can you imagine? And the weird part was - I wasn't planning on all these elaborate changes I'd make to my life. Instead I was doing math in my dream. (Me - the art teacher - doing math!) Everyone knows that art teachers are allergic to math! But the point is - I was figuring in my head how much I could give to each one of my relatives. I was thinking...5 thousand to each cousin....maybe 50 thousand to each sibling...(sounds like I was being selfish - I mean 10 million! But once Uncle Sam gets his cut there isn't as much as it sounds left over.) Point is - I was proud of myself! In my deepest subconscious I was thinking how I could share my wealth! Too bad it was all a dream. Alas, this morning I am no richer than I was when I went to bed last night. At least not monetarily.

But I'm alive and have my health and my family. And that makes one rich, doesn't it? I guess I'm in this kind of pseudo-philosophical melancholy mood today because I found out a guy I went to school with passed away suddenly yesterday. I'd known him since the 7th grade and he was my first real crush. The last time we talked was at our last class reunion 2 years ago. It's weird when someone your own age dies. You start questioning your own mortality and realizing that each day we wake up - could be our last. So tonight I'm going to bed thankful that the Lord has given me another day. I hope I've used it well. This weight thing - it's important to me. But not the foundation of my life. Sometimes I make it that. Sorry, God. Forgive me for obsessing a tad bit more than I should. Take care of Scott. Tell him I'll see him on the other side one of these days....