Monday, July 30, 2007

Welcome to My Pity Party....Or why I Wanna' be a Loser!




I had my interview today and I think it went well. It's frustrating...I've taught in this district for 3 years as a long-term Art Sub and still I must jump through hoops every time another position opens up. This one is a year long stint in an elementary school and I'd really love to get it.


I had a hard time deciding what to wear but finally decided on my brown slacks (the ones a bought a while back in a smaller size that made me giddy!) They actually make my butt look smaller than it is which in my mind is one great big plus! My hips were always my nemesis but I've noticed lately that my gut is catching up. I always had such a small waist. It was 24 inches before kids and 29 inches after number three. Then the years caught up with me and it slowly started expanding. Now that I'm at that golden age where my precious hormones can turn on me at in less than a moment's notice - I'm feeling the bloat. But I know this doesn't have to be. Does it? I know truthfully though where I'll be in the next few years if I don't put a curb on things.

My mom always told me how once she turned 50 life was amazing! What was she smoking?! Sorry, Mom. It's not that life isn't amazing for me - it's just not...well...amazing. My joints ache. I get out of breath when I climb a big flight of stairs. I feel fat and self-conscious when I go out in public. I know. I know! There is so much to be thankful for. I found love the second time around after first hubby died. I have great kids and a terrific grandson. I'm building an addition that almost equals a whole new house - the existing structure being gutted so that in reality it will be a new house. What more could I want?
To be thin. Or at least....thin-ner.

They say that just because you lose weight doesn't mean all your problems will go away. Life won't be necessarily better. But I'm thinking yes....yes...it will. because right now life IS good for me. But I have achy joints that keep me from enjoying the activities I once did. Losing weight would help that. A lot. I am out of breath when I climb stairs because I'm not just lugging me up those stairs but also 50 extra pounds! And if I lost weight I wouldn't stress when I stand in front of my closet looking for something to wear. If I lost weight I could chose an item because I liked the color! Or the style! Or the way it shows off something. ANYTHING!

So in this case....losing weight will make my life better. There. That was my self-pep talk for the day.
You know that commercial where the woman says "I refuse to grow old gracefully - I intend to fight it every step of the way!" That's my new mantra. Mid-life crisis is settling in here and I'm feeling an urgent now or never attitude creeping in.


So it's NOW! I refuse to let it be never.

4 comments:

Ash said...

Just wait'll you hit your 60's!

Hoping you get the job,
--Ash

*ccc* said...

It's true--we tell ourselves our lives are good as is...heck, I blogged about it today, but there is something to be said about how our lives will change when we get through this.

Your joints won't ache anymore. We won't be out of breath going up stairs. We won't get tired after playing with family and friends in the sunshine.

I wish you all the best as you continue onward and good luck with your interview. I'm sure you will shine like the star you are!

Christine said...

Sending you good vibes for that job interview!! Hope those brown slacks did the trick for you!!! Take care.

Ash said...

Hi, Lora; thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting; good to "see" you!
Yes! losing weight *will* feel good. So celebrate every ounce that departs.
You can do this!
An art teacher? Oh, what fun--and I'm not being sarcastic, but sincere. Every day you get to "create".
Good luck with the job.
--Ash