Saturday, July 21, 2007

Here I Am - the Queen of Bloat!

And I wonder why the scale isn't budging! As if Thursday night wasn't enough with the tantalizing fat-laden menu I was faced with - tonight I'm attending a bachelorette party for my cousin! We're meeting at a waterside bar & grill in a few hours to drink, eat and laugh - three things women do best - as we celebrate her final days of being single. (as it is so to speak - they have a house and a two year old - hate to tell her but she gave up single-hood long ago...) But that's another story.

From what I understand, the appetizers have already been ordered for us so I really don't have a choice in that area. I suppose I could just nibble....which sounds good in theory but when the rubber hits the road I know it'll be a wash. I'll cave. I always do. Mainly because I'm not on any kind of roll here...oh I've got rolls (!) but we're talking momentum. I've been at a standstill the past few weeks and am feeling very bloated today. So I'm in the mindset that says "Why bother!" If I'd just seen another drop on the scale - or my pants felt somewhat loose - I'd been inspired to press on. It didn't help that I've already tried on 3 outfits and gagged at myself in the mirror all 3 times!

And this is a singles joint. Waterside dining...and outdoor bar and a band. These kinds of situations leave me feeling very depressed. When I was younger (much younger) I could walk into a place like that and hold my own quite well, thank you very much. I don't turn heads anymore like I used to and that is depressing. Used to be I'd walk by a group of men and I'd get cat-calls. Now they moo. Well - they don't actually moo - at least audibly - but I'll bet they are inside! Do I sound a little paranoid? It's times like this that I look at myself and feel downright disgusted! When did I let myself go? How did it get this far? I'm 60 pounds heavier than I was when I was a "normal" weight. I've become a frump! I'm going with the attitude that I'm gonna' fail before I even walk out the door. Probably because I feel like a failure right now. Tomorrow I'll probably feel better. It comes in cycles.

Okay... gotta' go upstairs and try on a few more outfits....


Christine said...

Oh boy, that sounds like a nice party! I am pretty sure that you are being too hard on yourself. Have a great time.

Christine said...

Deep fried Mars Bar - huge hit at the fair and other outide shows.

You freeze a Mars Bar chocolate bar. You make something resembling a thick sweet pancake mix - coat the chocolate bar and toss it in the deep fryer. It will cook till brown, puff up - they cover it in sugar - and there ya go. Instant calories! :)

Lora said...

OMG! To die for! I'd never heard of that (deep fried mars bar) - would that be terrible to reward my next 10 pound loss with that?? I know food shouldn't be a reward but talk about MOTIVATION!