I've been subbing per-diem the past few days and have no computer access at school - and precious little time when I get home these days. I hate being so busy all the time. And all this clutter around my house as we remodel is...well...getting to me! I'm trying really hard to be "content in all circumstances"but it sure is hard to not have some wistful days where I dream about the new house and everything in its place. Of course...with my messy hubby - that may never happen. But one can dream....
I haven't heard anything on the job yet. They said I'd hear in 2 weeks. It's been 5 days. I'm restless and starting to feel doubtful. If I was the perfect candidate - wouldn't they have called me by now? Sometimes I can drive myself crazy worrying about things I can't control. It's just that I really, REALLY need this job. The health insurance we pay out of our own pocket now is killing us. I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to pay my taxes that are due at the end of the month. And so of course - the stress is playing havoc with my eating.
It doesn't help that the hubby now is making comments about my weight. I think he believes he's pointing something out to me that I don''t already know. Gee, thanks honey...didn't realize I was fat. I've tried to tell him that his "gentle" reminders do more harm than good. I want to lose weight for ME. Not him or anyone else. He doesn't get it. Men always want to fix things. He knows I'm trying and thinks he's helping. If you're reading this dear - you are NOT helping.
Okay - that's off my chest. Next topic.
There has been a thread of commonality on many of the blogs I read. People saying they are thinking of giving up their blogs. That there's only so much you can write about weight loss before you start to run dry. And I'll admit - I've felt it too lately. Life has been busier - and I read more blogs regularly than I used to (especially since the Healthy You Challenge)- which means less time myself to write. But I really don't want to see people just disappear into cyberspace. There is a kindred spirit here that makes me feel connected to a lot of you and I don't want to see you leave. I personally don't care if every post I read is about weight loss. I like just reading about what's going on in your lives too! Even if you post only once a week - that's fine with me. As long as we stay connected. I want to be there when a lot of you cross the finish line and run that marathon - or reach your goal weight - or do whatever it is that you're trying to do!
It's as if we are all on this long journey - and we've picked up fellow travelers along the way. Some fall away and others remain. While the destination is always foremost in our mind's eye - traveling together is a just as important part of the process. I've enjoyed my trek so far with you guys. Let's hang in there okay? I don't do well when I travel alone.