Yesterday my oldest daughter stepped on my scale here and almost fainted.
"Is this scale RIGHT??"
"Umm...I'm afraid it is...."
"Wish it wasn't..."
Which launched us into a long discussion about weight. How we gain it. Why we gain it. How we lose it. My two younger daughters have fantastic eating habits. They eat healthy, work out and don't have an ounce of unwanted fat on them. My oldest daughter takes after her momma. We eat for all the wrong reasons. Stress. Anger. Joy. Boredom. Seldom for hunger (mainly because we never allow ourselves to get to that point!)
So there I was - the mother bear - telling my cub all the ins and outs of healthy eating. Eat more fruits and veggies, honey. Get rid of all the junk food in your apartment. Walk to work (she's less than a mile from where she works.) Eat smaller portions. Switch to whole grains.
I was on a roll and you'd think I was some diet guru or something. And then these words played into my subconscious. Physician..heal thyself.
Smack. She was just staring at me as I rambled on and I could read what she was thinking with way too much ease. If she'd had the guts to say it - here's what she would've said:
YOU are telling ME how to lose weight? Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? Do YOU eat more fruits and veggies? Do YOU walk daily? Are YOUR portions small (because if they are - they ain't small enough mother dear...")
But she didn't say that. Because I said it first. It's so easy to hand out advice. But it's a much bigger pill to swallow. And it doesn't go down too easy.
I've been writing this blog for more than a year and I have lost and gain the same 10 pounds numerous times. It's not that I don't know WHAT to do. It's not that my heart isn't in to it. I truly want to shed those 50 pounds. And I have motivation. I just don't have willpower. Does anybody know where I can buy some? I seem to get it in short bursts that last a few weeks and I'm sailing along and losing and feeling better about everything and all of a sudden - WHAM! I get tripped up by something stupid and before you know it - the slip turns into a slide and I'm sailing into defeat on my behind.
There are a lot of issues in my life right now that are stress full....but stress is a part of life so I can't lean on that any longer. And I have purged the house of most junk food. (hubby actually hides his stash so I won't find it.) But I can get creative if I have to...and believe me, I have.
I think this is a universal problem for a lot of us. There are some bloggers I read daily that have lost the weight and kept it off. But for the better lot of those I read - we're all struggling. We make small gains - but in a few weeks or a month - we've gained it back or just maintained and not moved forward. For the amount of time that most of us have been blogging - we should've lost a whole lot more than we have. Sometimes I think we're too easy on each other. We tell each other not to worry about that slip (ignoring it's the third one that week...) or that it's okay if if exercise didn't happen today - who wants to walk in the cold (but not addressing that exercise hasn't happened in well over a week...)
But in all honesty - these slips and lapses need to be farther and fewer in between as time goes on. I think I need more accountability. So I'm asking you guys - if I mention a slip - or try to gloss over one - or you see I haven't mentioned exercised in a few days - please hold me to it! I won't get mad. I promise! I NEED to be held accountable or I'll never change. All you have to write is....Lora, you said you wanted to be held accountable so....." And don't feel like I'll shoot back and say "Yeah - well what about YOU!" Because I won't. I'm just telling you what I need and trusting you guys - as my blogging buddies - to give it to me!
Whew. I feel better now.
Now I have to go get ready for my secound round at the job I applied for. They are having me in this morning to meet the rest of the team. Sounds positive. I'll keep you posted.
Thanks guys. I love you all!