Friday, March 7, 2008

Tell It Like It Is Please....

Yesterday my oldest daughter stepped on my scale here and almost fainted.

"Is this scale RIGHT??"

"Umm...I'm afraid it is...."

"Can't be!!"

"Wish it wasn't..."

Which launched us into a long discussion about weight. How we gain it. Why we gain it. How we lose it. My two younger daughters have fantastic eating habits. They eat healthy, work out and don't have an ounce of unwanted fat on them. My oldest daughter takes after her momma. We eat for all the wrong reasons. Stress. Anger. Joy. Boredom. Seldom for hunger (mainly because we never allow ourselves to get to that point!)

So there I was - the mother bear - telling my cub all the ins and outs of healthy eating. Eat more fruits and veggies, honey. Get rid of all the junk food in your apartment. Walk to work (she's less than a mile from where she works.) Eat smaller portions. Switch to whole grains.

I was on a roll and you'd think I was some diet guru or something. And then these words played into my subconscious. Physician..heal thyself.

Smack. She was just staring at me as I rambled on and I could read what she was thinking with way too much ease. If she'd had the guts to say it - here's what she would've said:

YOU are telling ME how to lose weight? Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? Do YOU eat more fruits and veggies? Do YOU walk daily? Are YOUR portions small (because if they are - they ain't small enough mother dear...")

But she didn't say that. Because I said it first. It's so easy to hand out advice. But it's a much bigger pill to swallow. And it doesn't go down too easy.

I've been writing this blog for more than a year and I have lost and gain the same 10 pounds numerous times. It's not that I don't know WHAT to do. It's not that my heart isn't in to it. I truly want to shed those 50 pounds. And I have motivation. I just don't have willpower. Does anybody know where I can buy some? I seem to get it in short bursts that last a few weeks and I'm sailing along and losing and feeling better about everything and all of a sudden - WHAM! I get tripped up by something stupid and before you know it - the slip turns into a slide and I'm sailing into defeat on my behind.

There are a lot of issues in my life right now that are stress full....but stress is a part of life so I can't lean on that any longer. And I have purged the house of most junk food. (hubby actually hides his stash so I won't find it.) But I can get creative if I have to...and believe me, I have.

I think this is a universal problem for a lot of us. There are some bloggers I read daily that have lost the weight and kept it off. But for the better lot of those I read - we're all struggling. We make small gains - but in a few weeks or a month - we've gained it back or just maintained and not moved forward. For the amount of time that most of us have been blogging - we should've lost a whole lot more than we have. Sometimes I think we're too easy on each other. We tell each other not to worry about that slip (ignoring it's the third one that week...) or that it's okay if if exercise didn't happen today - who wants to walk in the cold (but not addressing that exercise hasn't happened in well over a week...)

But in all honesty - these slips and lapses need to be farther and fewer in between as time goes on. I think I need more accountability. So I'm asking you guys - if I mention a slip - or try to gloss over one - or you see I haven't mentioned exercised in a few days - please hold me to it! I won't get mad. I promise! I NEED to be held accountable or I'll never change. All you have to write is....Lora, you said you wanted to be held accountable so....." And don't feel like I'll shoot back and say "Yeah - well what about YOU!" Because I won't. I'm just telling you what I need and trusting you guys - as my blogging buddies - to give it to me!

Whew. I feel better now.

Now I have to go get ready for my secound round at the job I applied for. They are having me in this morning to meet the rest of the team. Sounds positive. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks guys. I love you all!


Hanlie said...

Hi Lora, I tried to do a post about this today... I think it went a bit off course, but you may still find something helpful there!

I'll help you be more accountable!

Hanlie said...

Happy Blogiversary!

Anonymous said...

You know what changed my life?
Realizing the self-control is fruit of the Spirit! (galatians 5:22-23)
I realized that all of the other times that I have tried to lose weight and failed, or tried and succeeded and then grew frustrated at denying myself the things I really wanted.... True change comes from God! It has changed my life! I am a HEALED emotional, stress, joy, boredom eater!

Nicole said...

You got it!

Stress is a problem that we all need to address, I think. I'm trying to find something healthy to deal with stress or anger or sadness instead of feeding my face. That's part of what I'm working on with my counselor.

Scale Junkie said...

I'm with you, I know how to lose weight, its a matter of doing it 24/7. I've made so many healthy changes and I've dropped a lot of weight but its a drop in the bucket to what I need to lose. I think to move past this point is going to take a lot more dedication. I've spent a few months learning about why I overeat and learning how to stop, now its time to act.

I've been using to track my calories and if I put them in every day no matter WHAT I eat, even if its way over, WOW, thats such an eye opener to look back over the week and see exactly why things aren't moving.

Eating healthy isn't a two day a week job, even three days a week won't work. I believe we have to give it our all for at least 6 days a week to make real progress.

So now we just have to ask ourselves, are we ready to make real progress?

Kathy said...

I've been known to hand out a friendly kick in the butt to very special people I care about a whole I have your back if you have mine! But, ultimately, no one can want it for us more than we want it ourselves and the pain of doing nothing has to be greater than the pleasure we derive from eating whatever is keeping us heavy before we get serious about losing.

Christie said...

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I don't think willpower is real.
I'm done with the roller coaster of dieting and I really believe Intuitive Eating is where it's at. Eating for stress, boredom, comfort, etc is really addressed and I've found so much relief and guilt over food is practically gone from my life.
I don't mean to sound all preachy - but my heart goes out to you and my other blogger friends when I see you struggling this way, because I have struggled for YEARS! I lost and gained the same 30 pounds the last 6-7 years as I was blogging. I just want to be done with that and find the true answer. Dieting is not that answer.


You *can* do this. YOu have all the knowledge inside you that you ever need.

Dottie said...

First time here and want to say hi! I remember me and my mom having conversations that were very near what you and your daughter have had. I seemed to have gotten the fat gene from my mom. Unfortunately, mom has since passed and I'm trying to crack down on myself to lose weight in an attempt to not die too young.