If I had to choose any one thing that I believe is the biggest sabbotager of dieters everywhere - it's the "all or nothing" attitude. You know the one I'm talking about - the "I just blew it by eating that twinkee so I may as well eat the whole box" mentality. Which ALWAYS leads to the "Guess I'll start tomorrow" syndrome. It's a vicious, vicious cycle and I'm convinced that breaking that cycle is the key to ultimately winning the war on weightloss.
We must never say to ourselves "I've blown it!" As soon as you you do - you're back to square one. You have NOT blown it if you overeat at a meal - or pig out at a party - or even devour a whole box of twinkees. You've only blown it if you tell yourself you have. One screw up does not negate the exercize you did the day before - or the smaller portions you took at lunch - or the donut you passed up at the office. All of those are victories and they can not be squashed by an occasional slip up.
One of the things that has been helping me stay on track is to focus on all the POSITIVE things I've done during the week. Just doing that spurs me on to keep forging ahead. Do I slip up? You betcha! More often than I'd care to admit. But I do. The thing is - I've learned to pick myself - dust myself - and start all over again! (Remember that song?) Next time you slip up - start humming it to yourself!
I remember when my daughter was learning to walk. I'd hold out something enticing from across the room and coax her to come get it. She'd start out ever so slowly and inevitably end up falling after the first few steps. But you know what? She didn't sit down where she was and give up. And she didn't turn around and crawl back from where she'd just started. She would fix her eyes on that shiny bauble in my hand and with determination, get back up and try again. She never took her eyes off the goal. She kept going. And each step got her closer to where she wanted to be. That's what we have to do. Keep our eyes fixed on that goal!
What is your goal? Keep a visual reminder so you stay focused. Hang a picture on the fridge of you in skinnier days. Or a picture of a cute outfit you'd like to be able to fit into. Hang a bathing suit up where you can see it everyday! Or a pair of jeans that you haven't been able to wear in eons. Anything that will remind you of where you're headed! Each time you have one small victory over an old habit that used to control you - you are one step closer to your goal. You might trip. You might even fall flat on your face once in a while. But pick yourself up - dust yourself off - and start all over again!
We must never say to ourselves "I've blown it!" As soon as you you do - you're back to square one. You have NOT blown it if you overeat at a meal - or pig out at a party - or even devour a whole box of twinkees. You've only blown it if you tell yourself you have. One screw up does not negate the exercize you did the day before - or the smaller portions you took at lunch - or the donut you passed up at the office. All of those are victories and they can not be squashed by an occasional slip up.
One of the things that has been helping me stay on track is to focus on all the POSITIVE things I've done during the week. Just doing that spurs me on to keep forging ahead. Do I slip up? You betcha! More often than I'd care to admit. But I do. The thing is - I've learned to pick myself - dust myself - and start all over again! (Remember that song?) Next time you slip up - start humming it to yourself!
I remember when my daughter was learning to walk. I'd hold out something enticing from across the room and coax her to come get it. She'd start out ever so slowly and inevitably end up falling after the first few steps. But you know what? She didn't sit down where she was and give up. And she didn't turn around and crawl back from where she'd just started. She would fix her eyes on that shiny bauble in my hand and with determination, get back up and try again. She never took her eyes off the goal. She kept going. And each step got her closer to where she wanted to be. That's what we have to do. Keep our eyes fixed on that goal!
What is your goal? Keep a visual reminder so you stay focused. Hang a picture on the fridge of you in skinnier days. Or a picture of a cute outfit you'd like to be able to fit into. Hang a bathing suit up where you can see it everyday! Or a pair of jeans that you haven't been able to wear in eons. Anything that will remind you of where you're headed! Each time you have one small victory over an old habit that used to control you - you are one step closer to your goal. You might trip. You might even fall flat on your face once in a while. But pick yourself up - dust yourself off - and start all over again!
16 comments:
This ties in really well with what I have been reading lately. That guilt when we slip up is what spirals into the all or nothing mentality like you said. This is a great entry... we need to let the guilt go, and focus on all the triumphs!
Christie
http://letsseewhathappens1.blogspot.com
Words to live by!! We need to make more good choices than bad choices. I try to live with the 90/10 with 90% of my choices being good and 10% for indulgence without guilt should I need it. So far so good!
I'm the opposite - I don't feel guilty at all. When I indulge, I thoroughly enjoy it. I think my attitude is too laid back so I'm working on that. But when I slip up and eat a pizza, I say to myself "damn that was good". :) But I think more often than not, most people feel guilty afterwards and the advice you gave was excellent!
http://thequeensizecommentary.blogspot.com/
Great post to ponder on. I am an "all or nothing" girl. It is something I have to work on.
Sandy
oh I love this post! so very true. Ive often found that the mistakes are what have helped me to become stronger. once I stopped beating myself up because I wasnt perfect was when I started to succeed. And, I have also found that eating 1 bad thing and then stopping really doesnt do much damage to teh scale. vs sabataging yourself because you ate 1 bad thing and then eating badly the rest of the day.
Excellent post! I have two visual reminders: a copy of the reduced-dosage prescription for blood pressure medication that the doctor wrote after I passed the 20-lb. mark. My goal is to tear it up when I don't need the prescription anymore. My other visual is a small sticker a friend gave me that shows a pair of jeans-clad legs with one pant leg rolled up to knee level. The caption is 'This means I ride a bike.' My goal is a shiny new bike, of course!
Great post! I wholeheartedly agree. This could take a while, but what the heck, I have nothing better to do! And I'm certainly keeping my eyes on the prize(s)!
I've really tried to focus on each food experience rather than the full day. And when I feel I need it, I actually list each positive so I can see that the positives outweigh the negatives.
Great post!
Lora, what a great read! Great analogy with baby learning to walk and not giving up.
I know I fall into that "all or nothing" category.
I think I will use this post as a "homework" assignment to think about "keeping my eyes on the prize". I'm not sure I have ever defined what exactly I am looking for, other than not being fat.
WONDERFUL POST.. sometimes those words are easy to forget.. but you know changing my attitude has helped me... focusing on the good is far harder than focusing on the bad.. but when you allow yourself to just focus on the good.. in the long run.. it helps increase your confidence that you can suceed at anything~
Great message! I think you're 100% on target.
I've come to enjoy the slip-ups ... but I also try to make sure they don't happen too often.
Life is about balance.
Well said! This is a great post - thank you.
A long-ago Weight Watcher leader of mine used a take-off of the song you mentioned. It's always stuck with me:
Pick yourself up;
Dust off the chocolate crumbs
and start again!
:-)
How ironic that you have this post today? I was bad this morning, very bad but I also recognized that is where I have failed in the past. I have always screwed up somewhere, then decided well that screws up the entire week...might as well start on Monday again. That is the mentality that has gotten me nowhere. It's nice to know that I am not the only one that has had that problem.
Terrific post. I fall into the all or nothing thinking often. You've really hit the nail on the head! Thank you.
Great post! I've always had this problem, and it's something I continue to struggle with. Having a visual reminder of a goal is a really good idea. Thanks for this. It sounds like you're getting your "all or nothing" problem under control.
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