Working on my Attitude....

Gosh...I can remember when I'd trek off to the library just to make sure I blogged each day and if I missed a day I felt so...unconnected. Lately I've been so busy that it's just not on my priority list. I have seen that happen in blogland. Blogs come and go.....sometimes get resurrected and then slowly fade away into cyber space.

I'm not ready to do that yet. Even though my sporadic posts may seem to indicate otherwise. It's just that my life at this point is hectic to say the least. And I'm trying very hard to just let go and relax and not worry about what doesn't matter. Like hosting Thanksgiving here for the In-law's with most of my furniture gone. And serving dinner in our empty living room (that has been serving as "workshop central" as we've been remodeling here to get our house ready to sell.) Which means the rug that will hopefully be replaced before next Thursday (but probably won't) is spattered with paint, ground in sawdust and dirt! And the good dishes are in storage. And I have one couch and one love seat in the already small family room to take care of 15 people while we wait for dinner.

And then then there's Christmas. The house could and should've been done by then. But alas I'm married to a procrastinator that hems and haws before each decision. I keep saying "Get the drywall man on the books so when we're ready he is too!" But has hubby done that? Nooooo. He keeps putting off the essentials for things that are not on top of the priority list. Now we're ready and the drywall guy isn't.

I keep telling him "We HAVE to order those kitchen cabinets so they'll be here in time." But he wants to keep looking just in case there's a better deal. I'm all for better deals but we've been looking since June!

Okay. I'm not truly complaining here. I've got much to be thankful for and I'm going to focus on that. If the inevitable happens and we have to do Christmas here - there will just be a little tree with minimal decorations. Most of my stuff is packed and ready to move so it won't be the magical wonderland that I always try so hard to create each year. (Got that from my mom!)

It'll be different. But who knows. Maybe it will be the Christmas we always remember. That Christmas the year of the great move! Or maybe not.

But I've somewhat readjusted my attitude and keep repeating the mantra my late husband always clung to. Accept or change - but don't complain. I'm trying to keep my focus on God and what the season truly means. I'm praying for grace daily to accept my circumstances and still have a grateful heart. As we've been collecting to fill Thanksgiving baskets to give to the poor in our area - I'm remembering how having a dirty rug or few decorations is the least of their worries. And should be the least of mine too.

Lest I sound too Saintly - believe me - I struggle. Keeping one's eyes off of one's self isn't always easy. We weren't wired that way. So I'm looking to the Master Electrician to do some re-routing in this heart of mine. So this holiday season...I can see the true light.

Monday Musings.....

I'm still on a screwy schedule and it's getting screwier. Now I alternate my overnight days and every other week I go Monday to Wednesday and then Wednesday to Monday. On the off days I try to sub in our district and then the rest of the time I play catch up on housework, laundry and working on the new house.

The ETA of being in there by Christmas is looking bleaker. The plumber (FINALLY) comes today. The electrician will hopefully get there this week to make some last minute changes. Then.....drum roll please...the drywall goes up! I can't wait to have some real walls so it starts looking like a house instead of a skeleton!

As much fun as I always thought it would be - there are so many decisions to make! Last night we stood in the future master bathroom and argued over the vanity size. I wanted the counter area to be big - as in I'd have my own turf - hubby would have his. He didn't get it. So we pretended to each be at our respective sinks - and I set my imaginary make up bag down....then my imaginary curling iron....then my imaginary blow drier....and he quickly realized that I'd be infringing on his territory. Not that men have all that much stuff, mind you. It was just a matter of his side vs my side. In any case, he finally understood and this morning I found sketches of the final plan and I have my extra long vanity area.

I'm getting excited as things get closer to being finished. Sometimes it feels like a dream because for the first time in my adult life I'll finally have something new - and done the way I want it to be - not the way someone else thought it should be. I have to pinch myself regularly. I'm so thankful!

Now it looks like we'll be hosting Thanksgiving here (at the old house) for hubby's family. My sister will do the big dinner for our side Thursday - and we'll host dinner for the in-laws that Friday. I'll be working that Mon-Wed so this will be tricky. Trickier yet is the living room is empty (as in no furniture) and we've been using that area as a "work station" as we fix up this place,so the old rug is covered with paint and sawdust. I'm going to try to get a new carpet in before turkey day. Hmmmm...I sense a bit of stress coming on.

Okay - gotta run to get to my job on time. I've been reading blogs just not time to comment right now. but trust me - I'm keeping tabs on you all!

Election Day Musings.....

I feel so out of the loop these days. So much to do to get the new house ready for the holidays! I seriously think we may not make it. Which will be okay....as youngest daughter reminded me "Mom, Christmas is wherever the family is - even if it's in a house that's half empty." You see, because we're anticipating this move to transition sometime in December, things are slowly getting packed up and stored away, given away or thrown away. And my house is a tad empty.

My goal is to move into the new place with as little clutter as possible. Living these past few months with much of my stuff already in boxes, I've learned to enjoy the simplicity. For so long I held onto items that had sentimental value to me...things that belonged to my mom, or that the kids made when little...or sometimes just ugly junk that I couldn't even remember its source - but I hung onto because it had been around so long I figured it would just be wrong to get rid of. How lame is that?

So slowly I'm parting with things and realizing that they are just that - things. That old chipped and cracked ceramic cherub that used to grace mom's bookshelf looks out of place at my house. It always has. No matter where I put it. But I always sigh as I dust around it and tell myself..."but it was mom's....I've got to keep it." But (again as one of my wise daughter's reminded me) it's not my mom. And to toss it isn't tossing away mom. So it's leaving.

There are a few wonderful things I'll never part with. But for the most part I'm doing a pretty good purge over here. Craig's list has been great for selling things that might still be useful or wanted by someone else. And I've found that if I set things nicely out by the curb, they usually disappear within a short time. And if not - then the trash man takes them away and soon.

Anyway - that's been my life thus far. Working odd hours - long hours - de-cluttering this place and trying to make the new place habitable.

On an aside - if you live in the U.S. I hope you got out and exercised your right to vote today. A lot is riding on this election. I voted with my conscience. Weighed the moral issues at stake and pulled the lever. I hope you all do the same!

Still Here.

Still on this busy schedule and not finding the time to blog, or comment. This week I'm working 64 hours. The laundry is mounting dangerously.... Hubby is trying to pitch in but he's working long hours too.

Needless to say I'm not exercising or eating very well. And we're entering the dreaded holiday zone (dreaded as far as eating and weight gain go!) Time to get a re-charge and get back on track.

If I haven't commented on your blogs please don't think I've abandoned you! I get on the computer for snippets of time and try to catch up when I can. I'm still here! I'm able to read blogs while at school during my free periods...but not comment. There's a block on that now.

Hope you all are hanging in there too!

ARGHH!

Lately I just haven't had the time to spend on the computer like I used to. I seem to have so much on my plate these days. (Not a real good metaphor, eh?) But honestly! I'm working 2 jobs (one which takes me overnight two nights) the other per-diem subbing so I never know what each day will bring. I lead a women's Bible study, teach Sunday School, am taking a graduate course and trying to put together a proposal for my thesis (a separate course next semester but one I need to prepare for now, as my thesis will be due next Spring.)

Did I mention we're still working on the new house which still *sigh* only has studs for walls at this point and absolutely MUST be done by Christmas! I refuse to host the holidays here as I have no furniture at present in my living room (gave it to my daughter when she moved out because I knew we wouldn't need it in the new place) and all my decorations are packed away for moving.

Can anyone say STRESS???

I'm trying to keep things in perspective. Prioritize and all that. And I have been saying no to some things. Like when our Pastor asked all of our small group leaders to spearhead a missions project in November. Nope. Nada. No can do.

On top of everything I'm supposed to be winning the weight loss war. I feel more like hoisting the white flag at this point. Sticking to my challenges has proven to be just that - a real challenge. Because friends - I'm stress eater. And believe you me (!) when I opened our stock report this month and saw how much of our retirement investments were wiped out - I ran straight for the Oreos.

Christmas is coming. Bills are due. Money is short.

Sorry - I had to vent. If I didn't I was headed straight for the Oreos again.

Farewell Summer.....

Last night I slept in my own bed for only the 2nd time in 10 days. In a few minutes I leave yet again to spend another night away. Tonight I'll be at the lake with my oldest daughter. But it's not exactly a pleasure trip. We're battening down the hatches for winter. You know....water off, antifreeze in drains, fridge emptied, can goods brought home, boats away, outdoor furniture stored.... I'm getting tired (and sad) just thinking about it.

Wasn't it just a short time ago that we were doing all of the above in reverse? I remember vividly standing on the end of the dock - looking across the lake and thinking how the WHOLE summer loomed ahead of us! That was 5 months ago *sigh*

There was a day when we spent more time at the lake than not during the average summer. First hubby was a teacher and I was a stay at home mom. We were truly blessed. I'm so glad we bought the place when we did - he had 4 wonderful summers there before he died.

Fast forward to hubby number two. He's self employed and the summers are his busiest times. Add building a house onto that and what do you have left? Four...maybe five quick trips to the lake if we're lucky. Although we did splurge and spend a whole week in July (!)

Next summer (God willing) will be better. The house will be done. Our lives (again...God willing) will be less hectic. I plan on spending much more time there. Even if I have to drag him. Or go alone (which I've been known to do.)

But for right now - I'm heading down to say goodbye. As always, just before I leave I'll pop my head back in the door (Mary Tyler Moore style...which means nothing if you never saw the last episode...) and whisper goodbye to the memories we made - this summer 0f 2008. I'll walk around the lakefront real quick and take in the view. And then I'll walk to the end of the dock and toss the obligatory rock into the lake that always heralds the end of the season. My middle daughter started this tradition years ago. Recently we started finding a pretty little rock and letting it rest on the railing of the deck all summer in order to "absorb" the memories. That's the one that will find its niche in the bottom of Lake Demmon tomorrow. With all the others. (I know - we're a really hoplessly, sappy, sentimental lot.)

Hopefully Sunday, I'll have time to catch up on blogs. Until then - enjoy the weekend!

I'm Still Here....

I'm still here. Just getting used to this wacky schedule...being gone 2 nights out of the week with no computer and then a jaunt to the lake for the holiday weekend.

I've been pretty lax on my challenges. Being at this house every Wednesday through Friday has messed me up. All meals are included in the deal... but it's been strange. The woman I'm caring for eats weird things (and I'm told to "help myself"). Which is awkward....rummaging through some one's fridge or cupboards looking for something to eat. So when she goes out (as she often does...friends will pick her up and take her places) I usually make a run over to the local supermarket (which is a very bad thing for me to do) because they have a literal smorgasbord of buffet items all cooked and ready to take out as you please. And I crack every time. Not to mention the downtime there. I literally spend hours in "my room" with nothing but a TV and over 1300 channels to surf. So I tend to grab unhealthy snacks from home and nosh through out the day.

I know I have to make some major changes or I'll put on this weight I've taken off. Bringing my own meals....healthier snacks....filling my water bottle regularly.

And this weekend at the lake - my sister threw her back out so there was very little walking. And there was good food. We tend to throw caution to the wind when we're at the lake. Not good. I haven't even stepped on the scale since last Thursday and I feel bloated.

Things have just been so darn disorganized around here. I hate living between two places (well...actually 4 if you count 'em all!) This house, the new house, the cottage and my job. I feel so disoriented! I need routine!!

And now I may need to go to my "job" today instead of Wednesday to cover for the other live-in aide who's sick. And I haven't even unpacked all the way from the lake. ARGGH!

Okay. 'Nuff moaning.

Enjoy the picture of the lake we took this weekend, Fall is beautiful there!