Friday, March 13, 2009

My Drug of Choice....


Yes...I'm still here. Balancing the 3 jobs, writing the paper, counting the days till spring and eating like crap.


It seems that when I'm under stress I throw caution to the wind and eat myself silly. It's the crunch factor. Some people bite their nails. Some people crack their knuckles. Some people grind their jaws.


I don't grind my jaws - but I do move them up and down with something inevitably stuck between them. When I'm stressed....don't give me cake. Don't give me ice cream. I need something crunchy that I can chew on to make me feel better. Like peanut m&ms.


Dang those peanut m&ms! Last weekend my sisters, sister in law, daughters and nieces came over for a Girl's night. Everyone brought a snack. ARGHH! And didn't someone bring a big -we're talking GINORMOUS (that's a word now!) bag of peanut m&ms. And didn't they NOT take it back home with them. And haven't they been calling my name all week long and aren't I almost through the bag?


Gheesh.


I feel like a manatee.


I've slipped into the what does it matter syndrome. You know, where you're tempted to eat something and you weigh the cost and decide what does it matter? Not the whole weight loss thing in general, but the part that figures what does a few hundred calories matter anyway.


But darn if they don't! I started thinking yesterday about all the things I shove into my mouth that I think don't really matter and then looked at my butt and decided that YES.. They DO matter.


Sometimes I think we stick our heads in the sand and convince ourselves that cutting out a bit here and there isn't going to make a dent. It's do or die. As in deprive ourselves of something big and we've hit pay dirt. Pass up on the handful of m&ms and it's no big deal. As in might as well eat them because I certainly won't lose any more even if I don't...


But then I looked at my butt again and realized that it IS a big deal. (In my case...a very big deal.)


I could sit here now and pontificate about how I've had this great revelation and that from henceforth things will be different. But I'm pretty sure I've done that before. This is no great epiphany here for me.


I just figured it would be better to pound away at the keyboard and not the bag of m&ms in the next room calling my name.




15 comments:

Felicia said...

CHIPS! They are evil. Sugar (eh) can take or leave but CHIPS, oh heavenly salty crunchy chips *sigh*.. Never met one I could say no to...

You'll find your stopping point, no worries! Hang in there!

*huggles*
=0)

new*me said...

up until this last year whenever I was very stressed......think pms......I would eat a whole bag of crunchy cheetos simultaneously with mini-PB cups!!!!!!!!!!! The fat and sugar I let into my body every month! Pmsing last week, I took to green tea and baby carrots!

Find a healthy substitute :)

grammy said...

Mail them to China where the little children really need them (o: I had an incident with crunch whole wheat special bread this week. I sliced one piece and toasted it and then put butter and jelly (at least it was sugar free) on it. I at six slices in a row!!! What in the world was that all about. I wanted to throw the rest of the loaf in the back yard for the birds, but i couldn't do it....that waste not want not thing we grew up with. The daycare kids brought me cupcakes for my BD yesterday and i didn't eat any...I was afraid i would eat the WHOLE container. (o:

Dutch said...

Oh peanut M&M's are my favorite. I haven't had those in ages. Can you pass the rest my way? LOL Keep the faith, you will do better tomorrow. Have a great weekend.

JC said...

Oh, Lora, my friend. Thank you so much for the best laugh I've had in ages. LOL with tears in my eyes. I'm not even real sure what a manetee is but less how one would feel. Bless your heart it is the date, Friday the 13th, I'm so glad I'm no where near you. I would have to help you get rid of those nasty little chunks of peanut and chocolate. Sugar is my drug of choice and bread my beer. Have a great weekend.

Cyndi said...

I have an issue with M&M's period - Do you know there are 'dark' M&M's, Almond M&M's, Peanut butter M&M's, COOKIE CRISP M&M's? It must be the crunch factor that relieves stress...

Cammy said...

I wish I could suggest a replacement sweet&crunchy treat for the M&M's, but face it, we both know there IS not substitute for M&M's. :)

Hang in there! You did a Very Good Thing by turning to your keyboard rather than the krinkly yellow bag!

dkaz said...

Peanut M&M's are the best - I just had my own altercation with a bag on Sat. I shouldn't have ever bought them into the house, but they were on sale! My son would take them back to college after Spring Break! Of course, that didn't happen. Now I'll have to spend 10x's the cost of the bag at the gym to get them off of my butt.

Hanlie said...

I think we're all confronting more of our issues this year...which is a good thing! Hang in there!

Mama Bear June said...

Oh, I love peanut m&m's, too! Sounds like you've had quite the stressful time lately. So sorry to hear about Bridgette. Will be praying and checking her Caring Bridge site.

I had unpleasant colonoscopies, too. Yes, that's plural. Three in two months. SOOOOO not fun. I woke up in the middle of them with nurses pressing down on my abdomen. It was worse than childbirth. I have a long, twisted colon, so it's a chore to get the scope through. Next time they are putting me under general anesthesia or I'm not doing it!
Path to Health

kristisummer said...

Love the matter syndrome. haha, I have that too, especially when I am stressed. hang in there!

MizFit said...

when I was all about the cadbury minieggs one year (CRUUUNCH) I had a well meaning friend suggest I replace them with air popped popcorn.
I hated that suggestion so IM NOT gonna make it here :)

(but it did work after a while. initially it was minieggs and p'corn and then I weaned myself off the corn)

you are under SOMUCHSTRESS---but just try and keep remembering how much better you feel (forget the weight!!) emotionally when you are eating better.

hang in there,

Miz

Big Girl said...

I have to say that's just a little bit mean of you to post a picture of those little nuggets of heaven. They are amongst my drugs of choice too.

Keep up the faith in believing you can do this.

Scale Junkie said...

sugar is a drug to me, M&M's just make a nice little wrapper for the dosage.

Mama Bear June said...

So do you have an update for this week? Is that bag of M&M's out of the house? ;-D
Path to Health