Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Saying Goodbye When You Don't Want To....


Shortly after I wrote my last post one of those life altering events occurred in my life...the kind that causes you to mark time in a before and after mode. As I get older my life seems to get categorized into chunks of time. Like before and after the month I lost my parents. Or before and after my husband died. And now it's been divided even further. Into before and after my brother-in-law took his own life.


No one knew the pain and torment he was going through. Until it was too late. The saga began with his disappearance..a week of searching....and my sister finding him moments before he put a gun into his mouth and ended his torment.


And now we are all left with the all of the unanswerable questions that plague the survivors after a suicide. Our lives have been shaken to the core. We walk through our days in a fog as we try to manage our grief. So many emotions. Guilt... Sadness... Anger... Denial... My brother-in-law was my late husband's best friend. Way before my sister and I came into their lives.


This is one of those time where words aren't flowing as easily as they usually do. I just felt the need to explain my absence and ask for a few prayers. For my sister. For her three children.


Thanks...

9 comments:

grammy said...

Lora,I am so sorry. Prayers go up for all of your family, especially your sister. I can't begin to imagine the pain. I will be thinking of you. ((hugs))

Mike Golch said...

my prayers are with you,your sister and her children.

Sandee said...

You and your entire family are in my prayers.

Julia said...

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Cammy said...

You and your family will definitely be in my prayers. I've been through a family member's suicide, and I know the coming months will provide more questions than answers. I wish you all peace...

MargieAnne said...

My heart goes out to you. This is a terrible shock.

I pray God will give you peace and help you, your sister and whole family through this awful time. ((hugs))

Debra said...

You've been on my mind and in my prayers these past few weeks of sadness. I can't even imagine such a thing happening. May God comfort your family's hearts as only He can... Blessings, Debr

JC said...

So sad for your loss. I will certainly keep your sister and her children in my prayers.

Nancy B. Kennedy said...

Oh, I'm so very sorry, Lora. What a shock. Yes, I am praying for you.